You Look So Fine
by AllynDupe
Summary: Awkwardly, Hayner finds himself falling for his worst enemy, Seifer. Dealing with his feelings is an everyday challenge, but things get out of hand when he decides to click the "send" button, finally being up front about the way he feels. Lyrics c Garbage


My footsteps were a slow, graceless motion as I made my way down the gritty, gravelly path that I walked on a usual basis. Behind my Highschool, at lunch time that is. I never really tried to walk it by myself though. At least not until today. Most of the time I didn't want to look like some sort of friendless loner who had nothing positive going for him in his life. Well, that was half true, I guess. I wasn't friendless, that was for sure. The only thing I really had going for me was my friends. Which reveals how the other half is strangely and insignificantly true. Usually I felt kinda empty, but it didn't really bother me more then it was now.

So, I told Olette, my girlfriend, and pretty much the only person I could tell anything, and confide in the most, that I wanted to spend this lunchtime with me, the fresh air, and my own thoughts, an active bomb waiting to explode. Of course, she didn't question, just gave me a swift nodd and a smile before rushing off with Pence, dragging him out of my general direction so I could have the calm soltitude that I needed. However, once alone, I didn't know what to do. My thoughts easily beakoned me to open up and examine them, but that was the hardest part of anything. Trying to think about, wonder, worry, and ultimately decide about this one topic. This one person.

_You look so fine.  
I want to break your heart,  
And give you mine.  
You're taking me over._

This one person, who I hated more then anyone else, but also possesed sensitive feelings for. This one person, who was currently my worst enemy, but whom I wished was my closest friend. This person's name, was Seifer. Just hearing his name made me feel angry, but also swamped me with heavy symptoms of... something. The unbearable weight in my chest, the rosy color breaking out like pimples on my cheeks, and the almost exhilerating feeling of my heart being a winged creature. Ready to fly from my body with the feeling of total bliss, and happiness, too. Cliche, huh? It was totally annoying me. But, anyway. I knew it couldn't be what I felt for Olette..., so, I had a lot of thinking to do.

I continued walking down the path, picking up speed a little so I could get where I was going faster. There was a bench that I usually sat down on, overlooking trees and a pond. A place where I felt pretty much at peace with the world, and as I saw it coming into view, I ran the remaining short distance out of a random spurt of unecessary energy. I sat down, letting my thoughts overwealm and overtake me once again.

I was trying to avoid admitting to myself what this 'something' was that only happened when Seifer's presence was around me. I knew what it was, secretly, hidden in the back of my head like a memory from a past life. But I had never thought about it in depth enough to decide if I was right about it.. I just didn't know..Simply unanswered, was all it was currently.

My temples pulsed with the utmost of small, sensitive beats. It felt almost like there were flames raging inside my skull, my face was burning up and I felt like the skin on it was melting. Maybe it was because of what was running through my head, a speeding car on a racetrack, a plane spinning out of control.... A sensitive memory...

The smell of his skin, the taste of his lips, the soft touch of his fingertips...It was all something new and awfully strange to me. I didn't know whether to consider it a bad strange, or what...All I knew was that there was an odd loathing in his actions. Although my mind had been fogged, and perception awfully disabled and numbed, I could still remember all that had happened so clearly. Like it had been etched into the most emotional place in my brain.

_It's so insane.  
You've got me tethered and chained.  
I hear you name,  
And I'm falling over._

_His hot, soft breath strained my skin, as shivers, unlike any I had ever felt before, wracked my entire being. I could feel him kissing my jawline, moving closer and closer the soft, supple skin of my neck. I felt vulnerable to him, I always have..But never more so then now. I was basically under his possestion, for the fact that I just didn't have the willpower to try and move. His half-naked body lay on top of mine, his skin pressing down hard. I didn't have the energy, and I didn't want to._

"Hey, chicken wuss! You high, or what?"

My mind was flung back into a bitter reailty, as if pitched from a slingshot. Trying to gather my thoughts and surroundings as if they were scattered peices of paper all over the floor beneath me, I didn't really understand my current situation until seconds after I was thrown from the bench. From my outrageous and random place in the slightly wet and chunky mud in front of the old looking bench, I looked up simply to see Seifer towering over me like a sky scraper does an ant. His face was a grimmace that mocked me, his expression laughing at me in a way I could only hear in the deepest tunnels of my mind, or my dreams. A way I could only feel under my flesh.

"Do you have friends, or what?" Seifer spat, still glaring down at me, his angry stare burning me enough to make me believe he was the sun.

I started to get up off the ground, not the smallest of words leaving my lips. Almost as if on impulse or reflex, Seifer shoved me back down on my ass. He was so careless with everything, it seemed like he didn't even realize how much of a jerk-off he was all the time. Especially to me. "Look, you know I have friends. I just wanted some time alone." I murmered, releasing an agitated sigh.

"Pfft, becoming an emo kid now, pussy?" Seifer raised his leg, and I only had time to let my heart speed up to seemingly unhealthy lengths before his shoe was on my chest, the strength of the muscles in his legs forcing me to lie down in the mud. All I could do was glare up at him, as if it was a lethal weapon and he would run away screaming. However, that didn't and never would happen, not even in the sickest and most twisted reverse universe. His foot increased in crushing pressure on my chest. In such quantity, that I could no longer support my neck and the back of my head fell with a sickening sound and feeling--into the mud with every other part of my body. Soon enough I felt out of breath, and unable to gather more oxygen into my starving lungs. The thought of begging him to get off crossed my mind; but nothing would leave my mouth. That was something I'd only ever bring myself to do if he was literally beating me in a way that seemed as if he wanted me to die. Well, I was positive he wanted me to die, but most of his nasty actions were carried out somehow innocently, almost as if I wasn't really on his 'to hurt' list. Like he just wanted me to think that.

Relief was sudden and amazing, as he lifted the weight off my aching chest. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a footprint pressed into my skin. However, relief wasn't long as my heart began to jog once more. He literally kicked me(Several times, I should add.) Until I was rolling down the rocky, even dirtier hill that was directly above the gorgeous pond and trees view I mentioned before. But, they were a long way down, let me assure you--and if I didn't get a handle on this situation, and something, I would plummit my way to broken legs or a fractured collarbone.

"See you in class, if you don't fall in the pond, douche bag." I heard him remark cruelly, even through the loud noise in my ears that was my panic. I hoped he walked off as I grabbed desperately onto a tree branch that jutted abnormally off a spruce tree lining the side of the hill. The needles stuck into my fingers and I bit my lip until I tasted the strong, metally taste of blood mixing with what little saliva I had left, in my mouth's dry state. Holding on as best I could with my eyes shut remarkably tightly, I waited to calm down a little before bringing myself to a slight standing position and using every branch I could as my lifeline on my slow, merciless journey back to the familliar bench. Eventually, I got up, feeling like the flith caked under my own shoes. My hand was bleeding pretty heavily, not that I even cared. I didn't have to even wonder about whether the whole back of my sweater and jeans, and my hair, were covered in the dark brown ooze. I felt little pricks of pain all over my body from the fall. My cheek stung especially, however, and I raised a hand to my face to check out it's condition. 'Cause if it wasn't bleeding, it was nothing to worry about. My fingers were red.

Feeling more frustrated then ever, I continued down the path towards the school. I felt battle scarred from the one sided fight, and soon I saw him again. Sitting on a large boulder, one of many that lined the Soccer field. On his lap was one of the ditzy blonde girls that were always swarming him. The one's he liked so much. There was another sitting beside him, his arm laced over her shoulders. I knew with an instance of bitterness as I shifted my angry eyes to my shoes, that I was extremely jealous. Those girls didn't care about him. They didn't want to make him happy, or commit to a full time relationship with him. They passed him around like a communicable disease, and that wasn't bothersome. That's when it dawned on me. The 'something' I'd been trying to deny came up from the pit of my stomach and exploded into my head like fireworks, and I realized I was in love with him.

_I'm not like all the other girls,  
I can't take it like the other girls,  
I won't share it like the other girls,  
That you used to know._

I could feel his constant and unkind gaze on me as I passed by. However, I didn't lift my vision any higher, just concentrated solely on getting back to the school. Maybe to class on time if I was lucky, and if the mud and blood came off easily..

The rest of the day's time span moved slower then a turtle trying to walk in peanut butter. I felt awful and I ached, even walking out to the bus didn't bring the usual relief, comfort and joy that it usually did for me. Today it felt even worse then sitting in class with all my fresh injuries and mud stained pants. It felt like I was heading into an abyss I knew I would never return from. Like I was walking right into the face of death. I didn't know why this feeling of inevitable terror and nervousness had infected my body. All I knew was that going home was something I was beginning to dread. And Olette...Well, I tried not to think of her and to avoid her as best I could.

I boarded the bus, recieving a smile from my driver which I barely acknowledged and definately didn't return. My entire body pulsed and ached, all I wanted to do was get a shower and then hibernate for the rest of the afternoon. However, the nap wasn't going to happen. I had three pages of Math homework, and..something else more important that had to be done as well.

The bus ride wasn't as excruciating as I figured it would be, with the crappy shape our roads were in the bumps were often monsterous and cruel. I was still caked in everything the earth and my bloodstream could provide, but the bus ride was somehow a little energy saver. I felt a little more relaxed, sitting alone, clutching my books on my lap. The outside world blurred past, and for a while my shaken up and tampered mind had me convinced I was in a time machine, and by the time I got off the bus I'd have white hair and wrinkles. Of course, that was bull. I got off the bus, feeling normal. Shitty, but normal. I walked towards my house, unlocked the door, and walked inside. It would only be a matter of time.

_You look so fine._

Nobody was home; me being an only child and both my parents in the work force. So, I went all the way upstairs, where the largest section of my home hung in seclusion. My feet were the only ones to walk the floor, as I headed slowly to the computer, where I proceeded to boot it up and sit in the chair. I didn't shower at this point, mostly because, I felt much too impulsed to do something else. It was number one on my to-do list. Even though I didn't have one, I wasn't a nerd. Anyway. My chunky computer took it's time loading my settings and actually zoning into my account, which, in the long run, pissed me off even more then I was already. When things started to speed up, I retrieved Seifer's e-mail from a website he was actively on, and got prepared to write the most embarassing, yet important e-mail of my life. I thought for a couple of minutes, before the words ran out of my fingers like water from a tap.

_Subject: Hey..._

_umm, i don't really know what i'm doing right now, just to tell you. it's probably gonna be something I'll regret, but, i'm gonna do it anyway. here goes. would there be any possible way that you'd ever wanna go out on a date with me? I know you hate my guts and this probably never even crossed your mind before, but i do hope that you'll at least consider it before you flip out. i really like you, even though we're apparantly enemies for a reason i can't remember. so, do you think there'd be a way that you wouldn't remember either and we could start over? get back to me...  
_

_-Hayner_

I clicked the 'send' button with a bit of relief as my e-mail sped off through the internet highway. I figured e-mail would be my best bet, considering I decided on the bus that if I tried to tell him face to face, it was safe to say he'd tear mine off. I got off the computer chair, leaving my email inbox open, not really caring as I headed to the bathroom, desperate to be cleansed of the disgusting, unsanitized cuts and out of the clothes that were caked in earth.

I walked in the bathroom, looking in the mirror at myself first thing like I always did. I saw the boy with the blonde hair, dark eyes and worn out looking figure staring right back at me. A slow trickle of my own thick blood ran slowly down my cheek from the still wide open and stinging cut across my cheek. I wiped it off me with my dirty hand, not really thinking. I only thought about what sort of response I'd get from Seifer.

_Knocked down,  
Cried out,  
Been down just to find out,  
I'm through,  
Bleeding for you._

I ripped my sight away from my own pathetic reflection and walked towards the bathtub, where I ran the hot water, feeling all the thoughts of everything, school, my homework, my friends, everything but the e-mail and Seifer, float out of my mind as if they had evaporated into pointless steam, like what was rising from the tub.  
~

I gripped the copper colored doorknob of my front door, and swung it open carelessly. I also slammed it behind me, a habit I was barely ever aware of doing, as stupid as it sounds. My feet thudded up the stairs, as I was greeted by my overly happy, chubby dog who proceeded to jump up on my legs and lick my hands. I rubbed a hand across her grubby, shaggy head with as much affection as I could muster in my current mood and headed straight to my room. I didn't feel happy right now, and I couldn't muster up enough thought to know why.

The only highlight of my day was pushing that little prick Hayner down the hill, it was funny as hell. But, for some reason, whenever I thought about it, I got this tiny pinpoint of weird emotion in my chest. It was like a whirlwind, kicking up in my heart for a couple of minutes as the recent memory still floated on my thoughts, and then settling again. It was fucking weird, and I was really starting to hate it. Wondering briefly if I was sick or some shit, I turned on my computer and flopped back on my bed, giving it a little bit of time to load. 'Cause if it needed more then a little bit, I'd kick until it went fast. Worked, most of the time.

Anyway, after resting my eyes for a few I got up, seeing that all my settings were loaded perfectly. I also spotted that there was new e-mail in my inbox. I was a bit curious, considering email wasn't really my thing, me and my friends barely ever emailed eachother back and forth. My tiny curiousity started to grow as I clicked the message with a strange, laggy hesitance. And as the email loaded, my need to know who it was from, and what it was about, was ready to burst agonizingly. Finally it came up on the screen, and the short message appeared before my eyes. As I sped through the text, taking in every word, I felt the color drain from my face. That sick, almost rising of something in the back of your throat, before you're about to barf, attacked me, and I shut my eyes for a minute. And that wasn't the only thing that attacked me. Just as easily, an unwanted memory wrapped me up and carryed me off into a world of the past. A place I rarely ever dared to tresspass.

_The way he squirmed underneath me somehow made me want him more, and although he wasn't really being his normal self, I still felt the desperate need to take advantage of him while he was in the perfect scenario, and place. Like now. The skin of his theighs and his hips was extreamly hot, in fact, his entire body was burning up. Not from fever of course, or anything bad, more like pleasure. It seemed everytime my hand made contact with his bare skin and sensitive parts of his body, he would wriggle a little, seeming anxious and a little nervous, before giving in and letting the gasps for breath wrack his scrawny frame._

_I'm open wide.  
I want to take you home,  
We'll waste some time.  
You're the only one for me._

_I didn't feel at all bad for the fact that he had a 'girlfriend', that girl he was so close with. She was a worthless bitch in my opinion, and I could care less if she hates him forever after finding out what happened. The feeling of my tounge in his mouth was something never experienced. It had happened before with a lot of the girls I hung around with at school, but with him, it seemed so..Odd. Erotic, the way I could take control of his body with him barely protesting against my actions. I stood up and began to unbutton my pants, which I had still been wearing, regardless of him being stripped down much earlier. My thoughts started to stop, my awareness of what I was doing growing thin._

The sound of the overly long claws my dog possessed on all paws was heard on my door, and I turned from the email, my face feeling flushed and my heart pounding like I just did fifty laps at the twelve minute run. I opened the door and let her in, where she continued to fuss over me without getting any attention back. I stared at the email for another couple of seconds, feeling too much anger to speak of as I finally clicked 'reply'. I let my fingers glide sleekly over he keys, eyes fixed to the screen as I wrote out an email of my own.

_Subject: Hey..._

_uhh what the hell? i dont get what your saying, really, like, where the fuck did that come from? but, anyway, i guess we could talk about it. meet me in the park around 830..._

I sent it away from me still feeling annoyed as hell. Stupid Hayner. I walked out of my room now, and to the living room. My bitch of a Math teacher gave me like, three pages of homework, not that I was gonna do it anyway. I decided watching TV was something better I could do with my time, I wasn't going to use this stupid ass stuff we were learning for my life, anyway. I grabbed the remote and flicked it on, leaning back against the couch, trying to let the event with that stupid tool fall into the back of my head, so I could concentrate on relaxing, and not him and his fucked over feelings. I stared at the ceiling. I was gonna have a lot to say to him when I met him tonight.

_You look so fine.  
I'm like the desert tonight.  
Leave her behind.  
If you want to show me._

My mind was clouded, he kept invading my thoughts, no matter what I decided to focus on, he always found a way to sail casually back into the realm that was supposed to only be filled with things I cared about. And he certainly didn't deserve to be catagorized like that. I sighed, my thumb wandering until it found the 'off' button for the TV. My eyes were closed as I lay down on the couch, pretty much ready to take a nap. That would probably clean out my head. I focused on the random noises I heard in my house, my normal tactic for trying to fall asleep. The steady, busy hum of the refrigerator, the click clack click of my dog's grotesquely long claws striking the hardwood as she walked. The distant beating of my own heart in my ears. But that wasn't a usual or familliar sound. I randomly recalled how he looked after his little date rolling down the hill at lunch. His eyes were dark and murky, glued to the ground, clothes dirty, face bleeding...Unhappy. He looked so sad.

I quickly turned the picture into blank space, trying to fill it with more important things, like how much he was going to fucking get it when I saw him. I sighed.

_'He looked so sad..'_

_I'm not like all the other girls.  
I won't take it like the other girls.  
I won't fake it like the other girls.  
That you used to know._

Hayner walked into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him considering his parents would soon be home. Still in a towel and not out of the shower for five minutes, he sat on his bed, cuts stinging, but clean. He felt clean, and he felt satisfied and light, finally revealing to Seifer just what he was experiencing. He scooped the Laptop off his desk, usually where he kept it considering barely anyone else in his house used it. Logging into his account, this computer moving exceptionally quicker then his hunk of out dated junk in the living room, Hayner waited anxiously to see if his e-mail had been replyed to.

He glanced at himself in the mirror; the cut on his face looking just as better as he was. He no longer looked like a dirtbag, and on top of that, his emotions were no longer bleeding. Exactly like the cut. It was a fresh, stinging, almost elusive slash in his skin. Something in comparison to his feelings about Seifer. Exactly the same, in his heart.

He returned his eyes eagerly, yet hesitantly as a five year old on their first day of Kindergarden, to the screen. One new email was in his inbox. Hayner swallowed and clicked it, his throat and mouth feeling dry and gritty. Regretful, almost. A part of him wished he hadn't clicked 'send'. Hadn't shared. However, the smallish, optimistic part of him, the peice that mattered most, was glad he rid himself of the biggest burden in teenagers; hidden feelings, avoided love. His eyes skimmed through Seifer's reply quickly, and he barely breathed at all. He didn't bother replying, just exed out his inbox and closed his eyes for several minutes.

Seifer didn't take it nearly as hard as he had expected, Hayner was under the definate impression that Seifer would inact one of various possiblities:

**A) Delete his email and pretend nothing happend.  
B) Flip out at him over email like a coward, and destroy any hope of them having a relationship further then enemies.  
C) Walk to his house and beat the shit out of him.  
D) Never pay a glance or any thought to him ever again, pretending he never existed.**

The boy with the dirty blonde hair and soil colored eyes didn't even think, not in his deepest fantasies, that Seifer would agree to talk it out with him, only saying something as mild as 'what the hell'. He was glad he didn't understand, in some sick way, because at least then he knew it was both of them. He placed the laptop back where he found it, and went to get dressed, starting to prepare himself to wait the rest of the afternoon and some of the evening out; eight thirty was going to take an eternity to arrive.

Hayner flopped back on his bed, just after getting dressed, his hair not even combed. It was getting close to Winter now, and he could see the light outside fading away silently, becoming dim in the sky that was travelling smoothly towards dusk. He heard the front door squeak open, and the familliar voices of his folks. Soon his Mother would come in and ask what he wanted for Supper, and his Father would question him on how his day was. At this time Hayner was going to have to lie on his side to conceal the damage his face had taken. Neither of his parents knew of Seifer's daily torture, and this easily irritated teen wanted it to stay that way, no matter what. However, the thought crossed his mind, that maybe, just maybe, all that nonesense and bullying, all those cuts and bruises waiting to happen, would finally end after they talked. Hayner released a shaky sigh, glancing at the digital clock on his bedside table. 4:56. 'Just about three more hours..' he thought to himself, his insides fluttering.

_Your taking me over.  
Over and over.  
I'm falling over.  
Over and over._

Time sailed slowly along the timeline of Hayner's life, almost unusually slow. Then again, he had never looked forward to anything more them this. Suddenly, Olette popped into his head. He knew he'd have to face how this situation involved her eventually. He swallowed an immense something-or-other, that felt like a rock falling heavily into his stomache. Eventually he decided, that something-or-other had been the realization that his four month long relationship with Olette was nothing more than a thin cover up to help cope with his true feeling. Completely unsure how his mind had been working when he asked her on a date, if he had this in mind or if he truly did think he had liked her, Hayner quickly obtained the proper information that had been hiding away from him: Olette and himself could never be more then friends, what had he been thinking? However, his mind soon convinced him to deal with that later; for now, he had another problem to demolish and get out of the way. It was now eight thirty.

So, Hayner, grabbed his favorite hoodie from the wide open closet, and started towards the door. He told his parents he was going to Olette's and was out the door before any protests were made. Not that there would be any; his parents practically adored Olette to peices. Stealthily, Hayner snuck in the opposite direction of Olette's house, the way to the park. Fearing being late and having Seifer practically decapitate him, he quickened his pace in the incredibally chilly Autumn air, still and crisp all around his body. It was slightly beginning to drizzle, a hazy mist was shrouding the streets and bucking around his ankles, and he could tell rain was surely on it's way. His fast footwork carried him swiftly to the park in as little time as he could muster, considering it wasn't very flexible and couldn't be bended the way he wanted unless he did all the work first. This meant he had to practically break into a run to get on his way.

However, eventually he saw his goal. Seifer's sillouette leaning bleakly against the purple-blue darkening sky; the thickening clouds. Hayner slowed himself down, suddenly feeling like he wanted to turn and run. Or hide behind a tree. Or haul a shovel out of thin air, dig a hole, and proceed to hide in it. All of those things would be exponentionally more easy and less awkward then having to walk up to him and look into his eyes, colder then the depths of the ocean.

However, as better as all these things came off as, Hayner swept up what little courage and confidence he had left into the dust pan of life and continued the long walk to Seifer, who by now, had walked a small distance to lean against the brown, muggy brick wall of the canteen that was only available and open during the sticky summer months.

Seifer noticed him and started to walk to meet him, but there was something strange about his pattern of movement. He seemed strange himself, and Hayner only started to bring a smile to his lips as Seifer's expression came into view. It faded quickly, as the young teen suddenly and desperately wished he had picked one of his previous options. Seifer didn't smile, his lips were almost frozen into a perminent frown, ominous and awfully weird. No cocky grin, as he grabbed Hayner savagely by the shoulders and rushed him back against the brick so fast and with such brute force that Hayner felt his skull clack against it's hard surface. Pain erupted into his head, an instant and merciless headache, as Hayner realized with almost paralyzing fear, he was in trouble.

Seifer pressed down hard on him, keeping him pinned firmly to the brick wall. "What the fuck was that email all about, you little tool?" He demanded, his voice shaking with fury.

Hayner couldn't muster to bring the words from his mouth. It felt like he was choking on a fish. "..."

"Huh?!" Seifer pulled him forward by the shoulders and slammed him into the bricks again, without a sign of sympathy as Hayner tumbled into a coughing fit. Seifer slammed him knee up into the softness of Hayner's stomach, and proceeded to release his pressing motion against the wall so the other boys weak, paining body could fall to the concrete.

Seifer dileberately kicked him roughly in the side. "Look, you know you don't wanna date me, you little fucking cunt. I hate everything about you and I don't want anything to do with your fucking life! ..Except maybe make it as awful as I can." Seifer's words dripped with scorn, as his foot launched out to collide with Hayner's face, who yelped out in pain. "Get a fucking hold of yourself. You have a stupid girlfriend, I don't know what the fuck..!" His voice trailed, sending a few more kicks Hayner's way.

Hayner coughed, feeling his throat burning as if he had drinken something corrosive. "She's...a cover up..." He choked out, starting to make an attempt to get up as the developing bruises all over his sides continued to pulse. However nothing ached more now then his heart. Seifer used his foot to once again, cruelly force Hayner to the ground beneath him. Rain began to fall all around the boys.

Seifer laughed, loud and crude. "What the hell, you little pussy? You know I don't like you. Not like that, not at all." Seifer now stood with his arms crossed, one foot pinning his victim to the ground, like many times before. Smirking down. Hayner's mind raced.

_The boy remembered clearly how painful his first go had been, especially under the more violent teens rule. He seemed to have no mercy, not even while taking clear advantage of his alcohol intoxicated ememy. He remember how it seemed the pain ran through his entire body, nerverending; it felt like being stabbed and he groped desperately for the hand of the domiant presence on top of him._

_Drown in me, one more time.  
Hide inside, me tonight.  
Do what you, want to do.  
Let's pretend, happy end.._

_And his hand had been accepted, as much out of nature as it was for this usually cruel and unsanitary individual. However the shoving didn't cease, the pain didn't relax, or untense, instead, it got worse and worse and because of the intoxication there seemed to be no care in the matter. He was the only one under alcohols spell; it was one sided but not exactly forced. Or maybe it wasn't one sided at all. All that was known was that pleasure soon replaced the pain and the odd, yet strangely enjoyable night continued..._

Hayner felt his aching throat tighten, his mucsles tense, and his heart beat so hard and so fast he expected Seifer to feel it pulsing underneath his shoe. "...Then why did you..." He began in a quiet voice. However, this soon blossomed into a full blown shout, one that expressed anger, and sorrow, and disgust: "Then why did you fuck me, you sorry excuse for a bastard?!"

Seifer was shot back by this outburst, removing his foot quickly with the sudden shock. Hayner glared up at him, looking spiteful, and hurt.

_(so sad)_

Seifer lifted him by the shirt and threw him as violently into the wall as he could. Luckily, Hayner did not hit his head this time, his back took a direct hit and Hayner felt as if quite a bit if skin had been scraped. His lower back felt extremely hot as he fell to the ground again.

Seifer was shocked at the realization that Hayner knew what had happened on that quiet night..the party, with the alcohol--He was unsure of how he could possibly have reacalled it, he had seemed pretty under the influence at the time. However, this no longer mattered. Not another word left Seifer's mouth; actions speak louder then words.

Hayner was clutching his stomach, as it pained immensely. Seifer's foot struck out easily as his face once again, colliding with his lips and sending a spillage of blood to pour down his chin and neck. Hayner coughed again and again, as Seifer continued to savagely bludgeon his sides and chest and stomach with his feet and hands. Coughing so hard, in fact, that more of the red liquid dribbled from his mouth and onto the ground. There wasn't a part of his body that didn't hurt.

Seifer stared down, and Hayner stared up. Their eyes connected; Hayner's soft and jelly like, looking immensly damaged and disturbed, Seifers cold and hard, crystal shiny as the rain came in heavier, colder sheets. They stared into the eyes of one another for a long period of time, conversing without words, fighting without fists.

_Let me know, let it show.  
Ending with letting go.  
Ending with letting go.  
Ending with letting go._

Eventually, Seifer tore his eyes from Hayner's without any ounce of difficulty, and turned his back to the bleeding, beaten and torn down boy on the ground. Seifer's voice was in fact, colder then the rain, colder then his eyes, and harsher then his horrible treatment. His words, bittersweet. "...Because I love you." Seifer didn't hesitate a moment, before letting his feet carry him far away, leaving Hayner behind swiftly and silently.

Hayner watched him go, his body morphing into what seemed like a shadow, his vision clotted by the heavy rain. The shadow eventually disappeared out of his poor eyesight, and Hayner's own heartbeat could still be heard, mixed serenely with the intense sound of the thundering rain.

**You Look So Fine//End.**


End file.
